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          Trained in   Collaborative Divorce sm  model                







Some time ago, a friend of mine punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found that the box was empty.

He yelled at her, "Donít you know that when you give someone a present, thereís supposed to be something inside of it?" The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy, itís not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her forgiveness.

My friend told me that he kept that gold box by his bed for years. Whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us has been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses. there is no more precious possession anyone could hold.



The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a companyÖa churchÖa home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our pastÖwe cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitudeÖI am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with youÖwe are in charge of our ATTITUDES.

- Charles Swindoll



Itís the truth I seek so that I may let it go

To no longer hold on to a mystery

Only the truth shall set me free

Free from my own boundaries

My own judgments

My own self surfacing in the darkness of my life

Winter gone

And the sun shining brightly now for longer hours

Presses me forward to seek even more light

The light that shines from within me

The light that empowers

And then balances out my own darkness

For without the darkness

What would light be?

Only a constant with no balance

No source of reference

And I wonder if that is ultimately what we seek

A place of peace that just is still

Without the teetering

A calm

A golden arrow

Finds its way to my heart

And I speak my truth from deep within me

Even I do not understand some of it

My hope is that one day I will

I sit with my brothers and sisters

And reminisce of other times of life

Even then the truth remained a mystery to the seekers

And yet pursuit of it continues

Where will it lead us?

Perhaps it is a circle traveled many lifetimes

And still the whole truth has not been revealed

Or at least not recognized by the travelers.

               -- Debra Higgason


Walking Self

Let me do it Ė Iím not afraid

No, hold my hand

You need help and guidance

You canít do it alone

Walking self. Please let me

Okay, but let me show you how

No! I want to do it myself

Sorry, you must do it my way

I give up. Iíll do it your way

if thatís my only choice

My voice is not heard Ė has no value

I give up myself for you

After all, Iím only two and I still need you

for some things

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Walking self

Iím 13 now and I know I can do it

I donít need your help

No, you donít know it all. My way is still best.

Why canít you just comply and do it my way?

Because itís time to walk alone

I really feel a need to learn to do things on my own

-- to do things my way. Okay?

No. Sorry. Itís not time yet

You have more to learn and until you do

you must do what I say

When you are 18 you can do things your way

But If I start then I wonít be prepared or understand

the realities of life and I wonít have you to lean on then

Yes, Iíll be there

Call anytime and Iíll tell you what to do.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

18 finally came

I couldnít wait to get out and try my wings

but I found they had been clipped so often

I couldnít fly

I struggled Ė I crawled

with tools I had been given that did not work

One by one the tools were discarded and

I have finally found tools that work for me

And though I know itís not how you would do it

Iím finally walking self at 43!

              -- Debra Higgason


By this certificate know ye that



is a lifetime member in good standing in

The Society of Childlike Persons

and is hereby and forever entitled to

walk in the rain, jump in mud puddles, collect rainbows, smell flowers, blow bubbles, stop along the way, build sand castles, watch the moon and stars come out, say hello to everyone, go barefoot, go on adventures, sing in the shower, have a merry heart, read childrenís books, act silly, take bubble baths, get new sneakers, hold hands and hug and kiss, dance, fly kites, laugh and cry for the health of it, wonder around, feel scared, feel sad, feel mad, feel happy, give up worry and guild and shame, stay innocent, say yes, say no, say the magic words, ask lots of questions, ride bicycles, draw and paint, see things differently, fall down and get up again, talk with animals, look at the sky, trust the universe, stay up late, climb trees, take napes, do nothing, daydream, play with toys, play under the covers, have pillow fights, learn new stuff, get excited about everything, be a clown, enjoy having a body, listen to music, find out how things work, make up new rules, tell stories, save the world, make friends with the other kids on the block, and do anything else that brings more happiness, celebration, relaxation, communication, health, love, joy, creativity, pleasure, abundance, grace, self-esteem, courage, balance, spontaneity, passion, beauty, peace, and life energy to the above named member and to other humans and beings on this planet.

Further, the above named member is hereby officially authorized to frequent amusement parks, beaches, meadows, mountain tops, swimming pools, forests, playgrounds, picnic areas, summer camps, birthday parties, circuses, cookie shops, ice cream parlors, theaters, aquariums, zoos, museums, planetariums, toy stores, festivals, and other places where children of all ages come to play, and is encouraged to always remember the motto of The Society of Childlike Persons:  


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