Trained in Collaborative Divorce sm model
THERE WILL EXIST A WELL-INFORMED, WELL-CONSIDERED, AND YET FERVENT PUBLIC CONVICTION THAT THE MOST DEADLY OF ALL POSSIBLE SINS IS THE MUTILATION OF A CHILD’S SPIRIT.
Mediation is a process.
The mediation process will encourages all parties to
discuss and negotiate a settlement
is a confidential process to help people resolve
mediator is a trained, impartial and neutral
mediator helps people look at their common difficulties,
recognize and consider their alternatives, reach mutually acceptable wise solutions,
and commit to their agreement in writing.
a reasonable time frame for the mediation process to work.
Just come to Family Mediation at your convenience. Any day
2. How long you
3. If a court date is pending or if your attorney sent you
4. When you
In New Mexico the New Mexico legislature wrote a statute that
required mediation in cases that involve children,
6. If for some reason you
If for some reason
All potential mediation
clients are requested to attend a Free
introduction and orientation session, which
includes a 30-minte educational video, by Judge Kass describing mediation and how divorce
affects children. It also
both parties have completed the intake session, a date for the first
mediation session will be given.
will be informed of attendance and the date of the first mediation
will also be informed if the other party has not attended.
Mediation Consent for Mediation must be signed and (in some cases) some type of
Order for Mediation
prepared to pay mediator before the mediation session and before documents are
Document fees must be paid before you
Important: If you
often one spouse or family member initiates and inquires about mediation.
An initial one and one half ho
a decision is made to enter into mediation, each person is asked to
complete an orientation questionnaire, which supplies the information necessary for discussion
and completion of an agreement.
· An orderly procedure is followed by which you
The result of mediation is a "plain language" Memorandum of Agreement which includes all decisions made by you
is best thought of as a process of conflict resolution whereby the parties
The process begins with an orientation session d
participants gather the necessary child care and financial information and
are then ready to begin to review and resolve the issues important to them. With the help of the
mediators, the couple develops and chooses options that are
right for them. Couples may consult with tax, real estate, and business appraisal experts for additional
couple has reached agreement on the issues, the mediators provide them with a written
agreement detailing their decisions. Each spouse takes the written agreement to an attorney
for review. The attorneys' comments may be incorporated into the written
agreement. When the agreement is completely acceptable to the couple, the case is
scheduled for court approval of the divorce.
1. BRING YOURSELF -- That is all that is truly necessary
2. If you
3. If you
It is most important that you
bring yourself and that we begin discussing
your positions and why you
have an interest in that position as soon as
Mediation recommends the parties retain legal counsel at the beginning of the mediation
Family Mediation staff members are considered experts regarding
how divorce effects children and at how to conduct a
peaceful, civilized meeting. In regard to real
estate, tax law, debts, and child support, please consult with your attorneys who are the experts in those
have attended the free orientation and the
other party refuses to attend, the options you
a. Get an attorney and let the attorney file
an Order for Mediation.
b. Participate in Family Mediation
without the other person’s participation.
c. Attend free group
sessions at Family
Mediation to get more information and support about your situation.
Have an individual session to
problem solve with a Family
Mediation Wise Person.
back to your attorney and ask that they file some kind of
motion to show that the other person has ignored the Order for Mediation.
f. Inform the Court in some way that the other
party is refu
choose to participate in Family Mediation
after you attend the orientation session, we will:
a. Send a letter to the other
party that states
have attended the orientation.
b. Inform the other
are attempting to mediate to avoid a Court
have an Order for Mediation, the
refuses to attend mediation will be notified that
if they do not attend mediation, they will be in contempt of the Court
We recommend that
meet with the mediator one time so your attorney can clearly state that
have made a good faith attempt to mediate and
that you are in compliance with the
At the end of your session with the mediator, if you request it, a legal document can be created that clearly defines your position in regard to the children and presents to you what a finished mediation will require. You could then better discuss your position with the other party, your attorney or present your position in writing to the Court.
It also gives
(in some cases) a document outlining your
you could show or mail to the person who is ref
your document requires revisions:
your document requires revisions:
Write on your
document what you would
arrange an appointment to discuss your changes; or call
The fee for each document revision is $25.00 .
Please confirm all appointments before arrival.
The mediator is not responsible for informing other party of cancellation
and/or of new mediation appointments.
If mediation fails, insure that the final mediation report
is delivered to your attorney and the courts.
It is recommended to not go to court
without a final mediation report.
This is a review of what was discussed
and agreed to on a conceptual basis.
document at least two times.
All the areas that need to be reviewed, revised
or are still in
dispute are marked.
If you see any problems, calls and setup another mediation appointment to
review and revise problems in the carefully.
Please read two times prior to requesting changes.
If revisions are needed, mark requested changes and
505-737-9348, FAX 505-737-5844, or email firstname.lastname@example.org
and setup another mediation appointment to
review and revise problems in the document.
If you can find no problem, please review this document with your attorney. If you legal counsel finds a problem, please note the problem and please CALL 505-737-9348, FAX 505-737-5844 or EMAIL email@example.com
and set up another mediation appointment to review and revise the
problems in the document.
IF NO REVISION
Please come to Family Mediation and confirm the final draft.
Take final draft to your
The final draft is signed by both parties, both attorneys and the Judge and is
Q. Is a mediated agreement as legally binding as a separation agreement written by attorneys?
Yes, and both these documents need to be approved by the court to be enforced.
Q. Do I have to go to court?
Not necessarily, at least one of the parties
must HAVE YOUR ATTORNEY FILE OR YOU FILE YOUR FINAL AGREEMENT at co
We recommend that both parties attend so that they can achieve some emotional closure.
Q. How long does it take to get a divorce?
in New Mexico it can take as little as 4 weeks and as much as 4 years in most states It takes approximately four months from the time the divorce papers are served until the parties can go to court for the final hearing. It can take less time or longer, depending on how long it takes the couple to reach an agreement.
Q. Does it matter who is the plaintiff or who is the defendant?
BUT IN OUR EXPERIENCE IT doesn't MATTER.
Yes. This means each spouse is automatically entitled to half the
the other spouse. Unless reasons not to divide the property equally are
presented to the co
Q. How are the length and amount of alimony determined?
A. GENERALLY IT IS
Q. Will I be taken advantage of if I choose Divorce Mediation rather than adversarial divorce with my attorney confronting his/her attorney?
No. Mediators are conscious of power imbalances and will not allow one spouse to take advantage of the other spouse. Also, full disclosure of all assets and debts must be made by both parties.
Q. How is child support calculated?
Mediation works because . . .
· Mediation saves money and improves relationships and communication
· Mediation is private and confidential and doesn't involve everyone knowing your situation
· Mediation is informal and at your convenience
· Mediation allows for self-determination -- it is your process
· Mediation is efficient and peaceful
· Temporary separation arrangements
· Final divorce settlements
· Post-divorce (post-decree) modifications
· Prenuptial agreements
· Changes in arrangements for the exchange of children after the divorce
· Any other family conflict
· Civil and business conflict resolutions
We offer couples the choice of one mediator or co-mediation with another mediator OR AND ATTORNEY /psychologist working together. Many couples prefer the balance of a male and female mediator and the added insights these trained mediators with legal and mental health backgrounds bring to the process. The greater understanding of dynamics that a therapist-mediator brings to divorce mediation is very successful in overcoming blockages in the process. When custody issues exist, the input of the psychologist-mediator helps regarding children's reactions to divorce and the potential impact of various custody arrangements on children. The balance of a male and female mediator often makes each member of the couple feel more comfortable.
OR NOT? PREDICTOR
+ Desire for amicable post-divorce relationship.
+ Willingness to make own decisions.
+ Desire for fairness.
+ Willingness to give and take.
+ Ability to regulate intense emotions
+ Children's well-being is more important than financial results of divorce.
Lack of trust that other person will liveupto the agreement.
Desire for revenge.
Only goal is to save money.
Little concern abo
If the other person is abusive or is attempting to coerce or intimidate your decisionsor let THE MEDIATOR communicate for you /// your concerns to the other person or let s INFORM YOU OF safety in a private one on one session
Family Mediation service recommends retaining legal counsel at the beginning of the mediation process.
By doing this, each party will have a better understanding of their legal rights and responsibilities and will avoid being surprised custody by legal issues or concerns raised by their attorney after assuming that all decisions have been finalized.
The mediator is not a lawyer and doesn't represent either party.
Effective legal representation is required and it is strongly recommended that each party retain legal counsel of his/her own choice no later than at the conclusion of the mediation process.
We cannot advise you regarding an attorney to see
We have gotten in trouble in the past
Other than suggest some questions that we recommend you ask your attorney or your mediator.
Please ask your attorney OR MEDIATOR IF THEY FEEL THEY ARE AN EXPERT IN child custody cases
Please ask your attorney if they are a family law attorney or a member of the family law association.
Please check at the court house for the attorneys who specialize in child custody case
Do not hire an attorney that does mostly real-estate when your issues to be addressed are your children
This work is the most important issues you will ever address
have an appointment with your mediator and Work with your mediator to develop the document
Or work with minimal phone contact with the staff at Family Mediation and the web site to develop the document
take the document to the court clerk for filing
Relationships With Attorneys And Others
What if I j
Yes you can do this with out an attorney
We do not recommend it however if you are sure you want to do this without legal counsel please Attend the Family Mediation free orientation so you will a have well informed understanding of how important it is to be careful and make good decisions with your kids.
please Attend the district court free divorce clinic
I would not want to go to court to lose
Please let me know how this ends up
If you change your mind after talking with your attorney let us know because perhaps we can negotiate some kind of settlement that is close to something good for the kids.
Try and decide before going to court.
After court the mediated agreement is sometimes withdrawn.
Even though you know in your heart it is not right
The issues for the court is can you prove that it is not right.
HOW DO I FILE This ?
THE FOLLOWING I
WHAT ABOUT CHILD
Who cares for your child and how your child is cared for are two of the most important decisions you will make for the rest of your lives.
Is your child going to do well 3-20 years from now???
What you do now predicts this.
Never, if you can in any way help it, ever discuss the child support, property and debt issues until the child issues are established. It is damaging to establish a child support agreement based on how much child support you will be required to pay. Your child is precious beyond price. Do not equate a price to your child. It is damaging.
How your child is cared for is in no way related to child support, debt or property issues. Where your child will flourish..............
Click here to go to library site for child support information
The cost of mediation is generally lower than the cost of adversarial litigation and the fees are normally shared by both parties.
Hourly mediator fees and administration charges are discussed during the initial consultation. There is no charge for the initial ORIENTATION session.
clients who meet the following specific criteria,
Santa Fe Office 866-737-9348 TOLL FREE
please feel free to visit our Taos office any time, Drop ins welcomed
705 felicidad 8021 NDCBU Taos, NM 87571
Last modified: September 10, 2009
Copyright © 2001 MediateUS
If you know of any great links to child custody information or books and articles please e-mail us
at our Taos office